Mindful Monday: Hold Your Tongue
This past week I had an experience that left me with all sorts of emotions. At first I was shocked and appalled. Then I was angry and hurt. Lastly, I was self reflective and motivated. In each "phase" I would talk with my husband as I worked through my feelings. I noticed that my thoughts and feelings evolved as I thought about it, struggled with it, and pondered upon it.
THIS is why Reacting is not as effective as Responding.
A few days later, after I have had the chance to work through what happened and what was said, I am able to think more clearly upon the situation. I am now able to have a better perspective and have a better grasp on how I REALLY feel and can articulate that with better words.
How it evolved:
First thought: "They did/said what?!"
Closely followed by: "How DARE you do/say that! WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TREAT SOMEONE THIS WAY!"
By the end of the day: "Why would you ever tear down a child like that? As a parent I can't imagine treating someone's child that way."
Now: "It wasn't handled well. I can see they had some concerns, but it was not handled in a Christ-like manner. Do I handle situations like this? How can I improve?"
The Take-Away:
Let your mind process before reacting! Talk to close friends/family. Pray. Ponder. Study it out in your mind. THEN respond clearly, concisely, and confidently. It will keep you from saying things you don't really mean and from being "wishy-washy" in your opinions. Perspective changes over time, and while some situations don't offer a lot of time before needing a response, make the time you DO have productive. Choose to see a situation from all sides. We each have different experiences and convictions, and when we take that into account, defenses and tempers are diffused. That's where true communication and human compassion can exist.
Happy Monday, Friends!
Smiles,
Madeline
